I love relationships. I love discussing relationship issues, scenarios, boy meets girl kinda talks. I would not say I am a relationship guru by any sort but I have been in enough to know what works for me and what doesn’t work for a lot of people. And of course being single, you have a lot of time to ponder various relationship topics. I try to refrain from the regular Cosmo or Glamour magazine relationship articles because most are so far from my idea of a God honoring relationship anyway. And of course there are not a lot of Christian single relationship magazines or resources out that are even worth looking at.
So what’s a girl to do?
Luckily, in the past couple of years, I have run across some amazing resources for single Christian woman and their journey through life. For a while, I felt kinda guilty for having this wealth of knowledge that I deem credible and not share it with other women in my position. My hesitation always stemmed from the fact that very rarely do single Christian chicks talk about men and relationships. Almost like its taboo and no one wants to feel like they are obsessing or idolizing relationships or the fact that they are still single. You don’t want to be that girl that is always talking about the fact that she doesn’t have a man.
Lately, I have been feeling like it’s time to have those open conversations that I am sure many of my single friends are dying to have simply because I am. I am blessed to have a couple of girlfriends (one single and one married) that I am free to discuss my relationship thoughts, rants, psycho obsessions, etc with and they give great advice. I am thankful that I have that outlet but many don’t. If my single girlfriends are keeping all this questions and emotions bottled up and not really equipping themselves to navigate through this single season, we end up with a host of girls that unprepared to be godly girlfriends let alone godly wives.
My fear is that so many of my friends or women I know by association will enter relationships and marriages for the wrong reason. I know because I have seen it too many times. Most were just lonely and settled for whomever presented them with the offer. Some trick men into marrying them, some just wanted the wedding and didn’t want to work at the marriage, some were incomplete and broken and figured a husband would make them whole. The Bible says the ultimate mystery is who 1 + 1 equals 1. It’s not a mystery because 1/2 a person and 1/2 of another person certainly wont make 1 whole person. Marriage is a huge commitment and should not be entered into lightly.
“But Jesus said, ‘Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.’”—Matthew 19:11-12 (Message)
That’s where I come in. Well, actually this is where God comes in. I’ve been pondering a way to share all these thoughts, ideas, and resources with other girls in my circle but felt rather ill equipped. How am I going to talk with my friends about how to prepare to be a godly wife when I am single? Like really single. It wasn’t until the day our church had its corporate baptisms that God spoke me and said “prepare my single daughters.” I took that as a sign that He was really saying “Stop dragging your feet and share what I have already given you.”
Time to get to work.